Moments
by valjeanbread
Summary: The wild welcomed home its lonely son, providing him with shelter and solace.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I was mucking about on the internet and found a 100 Oneshot Challenge (at gaiaonline by user CSIBeauty) and decided to give it a go. These oneshots will be focused on Remus Lupin.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

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**1. Introductions**

Remus Lupin made his way through the busy train station, pushing his cart that held his trunk and owl. His mother and father followed behind him, keeping an eye on their son. Remus wasn't particularly excited to be attending Hogwarts, and it had taken Dumbledore's persuasion to convince his parents to allow him to attend.

"Remus, darling, promise you'll write." His mother's fretting hands pushed his dark brown hair back as his possessions were loaded onto the train. Boys and girls were boarding on the train, the movement reminding Remus of a wave. He glanced back at his mother, she had his brown hair but that was where their similarity ended. He was a copy of his father, who was standing behind his mother, watching the hustle and bustle of the station.

"Yes, mum, of course I'll write." Remus murmured quietly before hugging her tightly.

"You'll make friends Rem," his father's deep voice sounded outside of the safety of his mother's arms. "We know that you're afraid that you won't, but you will. I made a lot of friends at Hogwarts."

_Yes, but you weren't a werewolf, _Remus thought bitterly as he pulled away from his mother. His father wrapped him in a quick hug before letting go of him.

"Best get on the train now, Rem, it's about to go."

The young boy nodded, his chestnut brown eyes serious as he looked at the huge steam train before, he had never ridden one without his parents.

"See you at Christmas," he announced as he took one last look at his parents before joining the group of children that were moving towards the train. He made his way down the train, looking through the glass doors of the compartments that were seemingly all occupied. The train began to move, sending Remus forward onto the floor. Cheeks reddening, he began to push himself off of the floor.

The compartment door next to him rattled open, and hands helped him up. Remus found himself looking at a boy with curly brown hair and a wide grin on his face.

"Alright there? If you're still looking for a place to sit, we've got some room in here."

Remus allowed himself to smile, "That sounds great."

"I'm Sirius, by the way, Sirius Black." Remus followed Sirius into the compartment hesitantly.

The compartment was occupied by two other boys. The boy nearest to the window was reading a copy of the _Daily Prophet _and had untidy black hair that stuck up at the back. His hazel eyes flickered away from the paper to study Remus as the compartment door slid shut.

"Who's this then?"

"I'm Remus Lupin," his voice seemed unnaturally loud to his ears but the boy smiled in return.

"I'm James Potter, I see you've met Sirius. This is Peter Pettigrew," James pointed to the portly boy that sat on the seat across from him. Sirius sat beside James and settled into the seat.

Remus remained standing uncertainly, hovering by the door.

James glanced away from the paper again, "You're going to fall over if you're not careful, mate."

Lupin took that as an invitation and settled in the seat beside Peter. For the first time in his life, he felt like he had made friends.


	2. Love

**A/N: Of course I had to include my OTP (RemusxLily) in here, but it is always unrequited. Followed up by RemusxTonks. **

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**2. Love**

Remus Lupin fell in love for the first time at the age of eleven, but he didn't realize it until he was thirteen. This moment of realization came while he was sitting in the library, beside his best friend Lily Evans. The two teens were laughing over a stupid joke that Remus had heard first from Sirius. As he laughed, he watched her shoulders shake. Her long red hair bounced as she laughed and her emerald eyes were lit up with mirth.

A strange warm feeling spread through his stomach as he looked at his best friend. _Merlin, she is so beautiful. _Remus glanced back down at his essay; _I am in love with my best friend._ Lily noticed his sudden change in mood and raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Rem?" Her voice sounded concerned, which made him pleased. She obviously cared about him.

"Oh, nothing," he muttered as his quill scratched against the parchment, "Just thought of a good line for my essay." _Just that I realized I'm in love with you but James is in love with you too. _

And so, he let her slip through his fingers. Lily Evans became Lily Potter, but Remus Lupin remained alone. He didn't fall in love again until he was thirty six.

* * *

"Damn! Sorry Remus." Nymphadora Tonks exclaimed as she knocked over Remus Lupin's mug of tea, shattered fragments of the mug covering the dark kitchen floor of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"That's quite alright. _Reparo._" Lupin picked the mug off of the floor and set it on the counter. Tonks had wandered into the drawing room. Remus followed after her, leaning against the doorframe silently. He admired her pink hair and beautiful skin.

_Skin that could be scarred by you if you were to allow yourself to be with her. You would harm her, there is no doubt of that._

"Admiring my cousin, Moony?"

Lupin jumped as Sirius was suddenly beside him, grinning at him. Remus backed away from the door, his cheeks red.

"No, of course not I-ah was looking at…" He gesticulated wildly, "The lovely wallpaper in that particular room."

Sirius glanced into the room, "Moons, the wallpaper is black."

"Yes, a lovely shade, wonderful."

"You fancy her, don't you?" Sirius' eyes lit up as he looked at his friend, who was tugging at a loose thread on his sleeve.

"**Don't you?**"

Lupin quickly retreated to the kitchen but Sirius followed after him.

"Moony fancies Tonks, Moony fancies Tonks, Moony-"

"**YES**," Lupin roared whirling around to face his only surviving friend. Molly Weasley poked her head into the kitchen, looking at the two men with concern in her eyes.

"Everything alright in here, dears?"

"Yes of course, Molly, I just lost my temper." Remus inhaled deeply, "Sirius was just being a prat."

Molly nodded understandingly and smiled at the two men before disappearing after being called by Tonks.

Remus straightened his cardigan, noticing that he would have to patch up a hole that was forming near the pocket. "I fancy her, Padfoot, but you had better keep your mouth shut. I am only telling you this so you can sod off about it and I don't end up going mad."

"Why don't you tell her? She fancies you; she asked me what your favorite brand of cardigans was the other day," Sirius snorted, "Any girl who wants to know what your brand of cardigan is is into you, mate."

Remus looked back at his friend, "She does?" He sounded excited and mentally chided himself. _You don't have a favorite brand of any sort of clothes, you can't afford brand names._

"Yes, mate. Now why don't you get on with it? You probably haven't been with a girl since-."

"That doesn't matter, Sirius." Remus took a deep breath, "Don't worry yourself Padfoot. I'll tell her, it just needs to be the right time."

* * *

The right time did not present itself until after Sirius had died. The hallway outside of the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts was deserted. After their row in front of everyone, Remus was convinced that he was in love with Nymphadora Tonks. In the hallway, he pulled her into his arms, kissing her passionately. When he pulled away, he spoke with a husky voice.

"I love you, Dora."


	3. Light

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**3. Light**

Light spilled in the window of the Hospital Wing and landed on the scarred cheek of a fourteen year old Remus Lupin. He stirred, pressing his face into the pillow with a groan. His entire body ached, and as the sheets tugged at him, he knew where he was.

_Not again. _Madame Pomfrey must have come to the Shrieking Shack looking for him when he did not arrive to the Hospital Wing like he usually did after a full moon. Last night's moon had been awful, more painful than any moon he had ever experienced. Except perhaps for his first one. The poor woman had seen him naked more times than he cared to think about.

"Quietly, Black and Potter! He just woke up."

Remus prepared himself as he heard footsteps bounding towards him. He looked at his two best friends who had pulled chairs up next to his bed.

"Alright Moony?" Sirius' handsome face was scarred with a heavy frown as he looked at his battered friend. Remus ran a hand through his dark brown hair, a habit he had acquired from James. James took off his new glasses and cleaned them on his robes, his hazel eyes squinting to study Remus.

"You got some new scars, Moony. Rough moon?"

Bitter laughter escaped Lupin's mouth as he sat up, gritting his teeth as pain radiated up from his legs. "Yeah, it was rough. The worse moon I've had since I was young. Hurt like hell."

Sirius' frown deepened, "Don't worry mate. We're close, so close. Give us two more moons and we should be ready to go."

"It's too dangerous. You know I don't want you blokes to do this to yourselves… For me. You could get in a ton of troubles, you could get expelled."

"Do you honestly think we care if we get expelled, Moony?" James asked as he put his glasses back on, "You are by yourself every full moon, and we don't think that's fair. If we can stop you from hurting yourself or others, why wouldn't we? It could remove a lot of anxiety from your life; you wouldn't have to worry about hurting anyone. I'm right, aren't I?"

Remus looked at James' smug expression. He was right. If they were to become Animagi, they could make sure that he wouldn't hurt anyone.

"I could hurt you lot. I'm safer alone. What happens if you were to make the wolf mad? What if he- I killed you?" His voice lowered to a pained whisper, "Do you think I could live with myself if I killed one of you? I would never forgive myself. I already know that I'm a monster, but if I killed one of you… I…" He trailed off, looking at the sheets clenched in his white knuckle grip.

"Remus, mate, lighten up!" Sirius clapped him on the shoulder, "You said that you'd feel better if we were there. Anyway, what we are going to change into would be able to take on a wolf. Especially the scrawny git of a wolf that you turn into." He was trying to make Remus laugh but he didn't.

"If you are going to be so stubborn, there's really nothing I can do. I suppose I could tell Dumbledore, But I don't want you to get expelled." Lupin rolled his eyes as his two friends exchanged high fives.

"Pomfrey said you could leave once you've woken up and taken your potion. We could head down to the Lake, it's a lovely day outside." Sirius handed Remus the goblet of potion, who downed it with a grimace.

"Absolutely revolting," Lupin muttered as he slowly got out of the bed. "I'll meet you in the hallway, just give me a minute to change."

He drew the curtains closed and pulled off his pajamas, inspecting the damage. He inhaled sharply as he saw the mottled bruises across his legs, that was where the most pain was coming from. He pulled on his robes, straightening his tie, before walking bowlegged out of the Hospital Wing.


	4. Dark

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**4. Dark**

"Bugger," Remus snarled as he tripped over a branch, toppling over into a tree. James and Sirius laughed behind him, James helped him straighten up.

"This is such a stupid idea, Padfoot. We've got a Transfiguration exam tomorrow and if I fail it, you'll wake up in the morning with no eyebrows."

"Oh, Moony, quiet down. You said you couldn't sleep either, so you really can't complain." James advanced forward, his wand was lit which cast a pale light through the heavy darkness.

"Well, I didn't think we were going to go into the Forbidden Forest at one in the morning. We'd totally be expelled if we got caught," Lupin moaned, "I don't want to be expelled."

"Don't worry Moons, I got the chocolate." Sirius pulled out a bar of Honeydukes' Finest, Remus' expression brightened instantly. The four boys, Peter lagged behind them, came to a stop in a clearing. James lit a small fire, and the boys gathered around it.

Remus caught the chocolate that Sirius tossed at him, grinning broadly as he ripped through the wrappers. For a moment, the boys were silent.

"Did you see that outfit Evans-."

"Her name is Lily," Remus interjected through his mouthful of chocolate. James rolled his eyes.

"Did you see that outfit that _Lily_ was wearing yesterday? She's so fit."

"Maybe if you told her she was beautiful, she would actually take you seriously, Prongs."

"Nobody here is serious, except perhaps-."

"Me," Sirius said chuckling. Remus groaned and shoved Sirius, "Shove off on the puns Sirius."

James rolled his eyes, but was smiling, "I was going to say except perhaps you Moony. Anyway, you all know who I fancy. Do any of you lot fancy anyone?"

Red hair, green eyes, a beautiful smile. Remus choked on his chocolate, "No," he blurted, spraying chocolate out of his mouth. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he set the bar of chocolate beside him. James looked at him suspiciously, but let his outburst slide.

"What about you Padfoot?"

Sirius stared into the fire, "Yeah, I've fancied someone for a really long time."

Peter grinned, his eyes bulging in the firelight, "Can we play that game, James? Where we guess who it is?"

"The yes or no game? Yes, I'll start with the questions, then you, and then Moony." This game was common among the Marauders, especially when it came to Sirius or James. They always fancied someone.

"Alright," James fixed Sirius with a stare as he cracked his knuckles, "Are they in Gryffindor?"

"Yes."

"Our age?"

"Yes."

"Hmm," James murmured as he grabbed what was left of Remus' chocolate, breaking off a piece. "Blonde hair?"

"No."

"Damn," James said as he tossed the wrapper into the flames.

Peter studied Sirius, "Red hair?"

"No, sorry Petey."

All eyes were on Remus who was still struggling to come up with a question. "Er… Do we know them?"

"Yes, we all know them. Talk to them every day."

After exhausting all of the questions, the three boys gave up. The Marauders began to head back to the castle, James and Sirius were walking together, hanging back from the other boys.

Before they reached the two other boys to don the Invisibility Cloak, James fixed Sirius with a stare.

"It's a friend, isn't it?"

Sirius glanced at James wearily, "I'm done with this game James. You wouldn't guess who it is anyway."

James smiled knowingly as he threw the cloak over the four of them, "If you say so."


	5. Seeking Solace

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**5. Seeking Solace**

Loneliness was something that Remus Lupin was used to. Ever since his graduation from Hogwarts, he had been alone. His friends had cast him away from them, thinking he was untrustworthy. After that awful fight, Remus made no effort to talk to them. It infuriated him, that they would trust Peter Pettigrew over him, he had thought that he was closer to James and Sirius than Peter.

_ You knew this would happen. _His thoughts were bitter. He had always known that he would lose his friends. He was a werewolf, and he was quite sure that he was the first werewolf to have had friends. But his chest ached. He had never been fully alone like this. He had lost his parents this year, the two people in his life who had always been there for him when others weren't. The funeral had been quiet, and it had been the last time he had spoken to his friends before the fight. Before they began to not trust him. Before they saw him as an enemy.

As he walked through the forest behind his cottage, his battered body issued a dull ache with every movement. Cuts and bruises were taking longer to disappear, and waking up every morning was a struggle. Remus was fed up being alone, he was fed up with being sad all the time.

His solace took the shape of a huge oak tree that he scaled with minor difficulty. Once at his favorite branch, he straddled it and leaned back against the trunk. He opened his rucksack, pulling out a book and a bar of chocolate. He had picked up _To Kill a Mockingbird _at a Muggle used book store at the suggestion of the owner of the store. The weather had been lovely when he had woken up so he decided to give the book a try. Time passed as he flipped the pages and immersed himself in Scout and Jem's life in America.

By the time he closed the book, the sun was setting. He tucked the book and chocolate bar wrapper in his rucksack, feeling pleased and fulfilled. The rucksack rested on his back as he watched the orange sun slowly sink below the horizon. His stomach grumbled, snapping him out of his reverie.

As he climbed down the tree, he made a mental note to stop in the bookstore and ask the old woman for recommendations. He would get a new book, a new chocolate bar, and perhaps some tea to bring with him. The tree would greet him like an old friend, and the sunset would remind him that someone else on the earth would be watching it too. He wasn't truly alone.


	6. Break Away

**A/N: All I could think about while writing this was the Kelly Clarkson song. But here, have a depressing drabble.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**6. Break Away**

"Where've you been Moony?" Sirius studied him over the rim of his glass. Lupin shifted uncomfortably on James' couch while the other three men stared at him. Lily was clattering about in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

"I've been out and about. Wandering really. There's nowhere for me to go…"

James stared at him, his eyes dark, "Have you been wandering with anyone in particular?"

Remus' hands clenched into fists, he had been expecting this. "No, I've been alone."

"Really?" Sirius' voice was firm, the mood had changed in the room almost instantaneously. Remus felt his heart beating wildly, he was trapped in here with them and they were determined to convict him.

"Then why on earth has the Order heard that you were meeting with Voldemort's group of werewolves in the north?"

Remus winced at James' harsh tone, "Then the source is false. I've been in the south for the past month."

"But you really don't have an alibi," Peter piped up, his eyes unusually bright.

"Does it matter?! You are all my closet friends, you are supposed to trust me! Why would I meet with werewolves who want to turn people when I hate what I am? If I was to ever bite someone, I would kill myself. Does that sound like one of Voldemort's werewolves?"

"The source is trustworthy," James' voice was quiet but cold, "We thought you were an okay bloke Lupin. But you're obviously not."

Lupin jumped to his feet, his fists clenched at his sides, "You are like my brothers! I would never betray you!"

Sirius looked up at him, "You're embarrassing yourself Mo- Lupin. You aren't our brother anymore."

Remus looked down at the three men he had known since he was a boy, the three people he trusted on this earth with anything. Looking into their eyes, he knew there would be no convincing them. They had already made their decision.

Lupin stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him.

"Remus?" Lily came out of the kitchen, looking at the door and then back to the three men who were still seated. There was a loud crack as Remus disapparated. The Marauders were no more.


	7. Heaven

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**7. Heaven**

For Remus Lupin, heaven was a lot of things. Heaven was a bar of Honeydukes' Finest chocolate on a snowy December day. Heaven was the smell of a freshly brewed pot of tea and the sound of the rustling pages of a new book. Heaven was laughter from the Marauders, a hug from a friend. Heaven was his mother's cooking, his father's rough hands guiding him on his first broomstick.

Heaven was a passing score on a Potions exam, a class he struggled with constantly. Heaven was a worn cardigan that held more memories than he could put into words. Heaven was the sound of a quill on parchment. Heaven was a picture of his friends, all of whom he would never see again. Heaven was the smell of Tonks' hair, the warmth of her embrace.

Heaven was the sound of his son's first cries. Heaven was the few happy months that he got to spend with his family. Heaven was the peace he felt when he hit the ground on that infamous battle at Hogwarts. Heaven was having his wife be the last thing he saw.


	8. Innocence

**A/N: Reviews are appreciated. **

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**8. Innocence**

Small feet padded down the stairs, a blanket dragging behind the feet. The small boy's hands came up to rub his tired eyes, and his thumb slipped into his mouth. Two tall men stood at his front door.

"Papa?" His voice was sleepy and muffled by his thumb as he looked up at his father, his hero. His father's face paled when he saw his four year old son leaning against his leg.

"Remus, go back to bed, it's late-."

"You didn't mention that you had a son, Lupin." Fenrir Greyback looked down at the child, a feral grin passing over his face. He knelt down to Remus, who pressed his face against his father's leg in fear.

"Remus? Hmm, his name seems more fitting than yours." Greyback's hand shot out and grabbed the boy who had started to run back to his room.

"Please, leave my son alone. It's me that you're after, he has nothing to do with it!"

"Do you love him?" Greyback smiled up at Remus' father, his teeth looking ominously sharp in the moon light.

"Yes, he's my son! Of course I love him."

"Good, then this will teach you to never cross me again." Remus screamed as teeth sunk into his shoulder, he writhed and struggled but the teeth only sunk deeper. Claws sunk into his stomach, and he lost consciousness.

* * *

He stirred in a bed that was not his own. The sheets were wrapped tightly against him, and he could hear someone crying.

"Mum?" He was confused, he had never seen his mother cry before. She hurried over to his side and pulled Remus into her arms. She sobbed against the top of his head.

"There is no doubt, Mr. Lupin. Your son is a werewolf." Remus looked at the intimidating Healer who was wearing a stark white outfit.

"There's nothing you can do for him?!" His mother's voice was high pitched and hysterical, "He's only a boy! He's four year old! He can't be a werewolf."

"I'm afraid he is Mrs. Lupin." The Healer left the room, Remus' mother turned on her husband.

"You! It's your fault that this happened! Because of you, our son is a werewolf. Our son will not have a normal life because his father was an idiot!" Her hands beat against his father's chest, but she quickly collapsed against his chest and sobbed. His father held her as he looked at his young son. Covered in cuts and with his serious brown eyes, Remus didn't look like an innocent little boy anymore.


	9. Drive

**A/N: Reviews are appreciated.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**9. Drive**

It was a hot summer's day, a rickety old pickup truck roared down a narrow dirt road. At the steering wheel was James Potter, grinning wildly and glancing back at his girlfriend and three other friends who were holding onto anything available with a white knuckle grip. Remus Lupin struggled to roll down the window in the back seat, leaning out the window and closing his eyes. Lily rubbed his back, looking at him concernedly.

"Potter, can you slow down?" James laughed over the roar of the wind, Sirius punched his shoulder with a smile, and James' foot pressed down harder on the pedal. Remus groaned, Peter looked unconscious, and Lily looked concerned which increased to panic as they heard sirens behind them. Remus looked out the window and saw a police car following after them, he quickly rolled up the window.

"Prongs, you've got the cops on our tail, you need to pull over."

James looked in the rearview mirror, his eyes bright behind his glasses. He glanced over at Sirius with a smile.

"You in for a chase Padfoot? We've got enough petrol to go far."

"No, this is the stupidest id-."

"Oh, Moony, we're wizards remember? We can wipe their memories, this is a small village, and they will only have a couple of cars after us."

Remus looked at Sirius incredulously, "What you are suggesting is illegal! Just pull over, wipe his memory, and then we can continue on our way. I mean, driving fast is fun until you crash into a tree, especially when people are following you."

James looked at Remus over his shoulder, "Can we at least keep driving for ten minutes before pulling over?"

Remus sighed and settled back into his seat, "Yes, you can James. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Basically Prongs, you can't do anything." Sirius's voice echoed into the bottle of beer he was drinking. He let out a whoop as James turned suddenly into a field, tearing through the stalks of wheat. Remus let out a loud groan as he looked at the destroyed crops. The police car struggled to keep up with them. The chase went over ten minutes but ended once James pulled over into an abandoned parking lot.

"Who wants to do the honors?"

Remus was grinning despite the fact he wasn't supposed to be encouraging them.

"I suppose I have to do it so you all don't screw it up. Or Lily could," he glanced back at the red headed girl who shook her head.

"No, Remus, you're the best here at charms."

Remus pulled out his wand and waited, he wouldn't tell the Marauders, but he had actually enjoyed the drive.


	10. Breathe Again

**A/N: A bit short but touching.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

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**10. Breathe Again**

The sound of a kettle boiling woke Remus Lupin on a sunny Thursday morning. His eyes fluttered open when dishes crashed to the floor. He grabbed his dressing robe off of the chair beside their bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. His feet padded silently across the cold wooden floor.

Tonks was pottering about in the kitchen, she had a pan of bacon on the stove. Remus leaned against the doorframe and watched his wife silently. Happiness filled him, he had never felt like this with anyone else before. He was completely smitten with her. Every little quirk she had he noticed and admired.

What he loved about her most of all was her seemingly never ending kindness. She always took care of him after a full moon, and she always understood if he didn't want to go out places with her because he was tired or was feeling ill. He always made it up to her, though.

His life may not have been perfect, and he may not admire himself, but living with Tonks and knowing that she loved him was a breath of fresh air.


	11. Memory

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**11. Memory**

Remus Lupin had several happy memories with the Marauders, but his favorite involved the one time that he actually got punished for their mischief.

* * *

"Moony, what are you doing?" James jumped onto Remus' bed, followed by Sirius and Peter. The three boys stared at their somber friend as his quill moved across the parchment that was resting on a book on his lap.

"Writing that essay for Slughorn that you all should have done because it's due tomorrow." Remus glanced up at his friends as Sirius snorted and pulled out a bar of chocolate. Remus' eyes narrowed on the bar of chocolate.

"How about you stop writing the essay and we go practice spells in that empty classroom next to McGonagall's?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "The classroom next to McGonagall's. And if she caught us? We'd be in for detentions. Can't you think of a better thing to do with your time, like your essay?"

"Seems like we're going to have to bring him the hard way, Prongs."

James looked apologetically at Remus, "Yes, you're right Padfoot. Moony doesn't get involved with things unless we force him to. Sorry about this Moony. _Petrificus Totalus." _

The indignant sound that Remus was going to utter didn't escape his mouth as his body moved into the position of that of a soldier at attention. Sirius levitated him and James covered him with the invisibility cloak.

"So, wait, I forgot what we were going to do with him once we got him like this."

James gave a thoughtful hum as he looked at where Remus must be hovering, "Why don't we practice the spells in that classroom and then leave Moony there to pick it up. Payback for giving us detentions when we burned the first years' essays, which weren't due in a week, mind. It taught them the valuable lesson that procrastination is the key to success at Hogwarts, but Moony didn't see it that way."

Remus would have grinned at them if he could move his face. He had expected revenge for that event. He hoped heatedly that they wouldn't destroy the classroom too badly so that he didn't get that long of a detention.

The grin would have turned into a horrified expression once the classroom had been destroyed. Sirius forced him to sit at the only remaining desk, chuckling. They heard footsteps and as the door was flung open, James lifted the spell off of Remus and the three boys covered themselves with the invisibility cloak.

"Mr. Lupin!" McGonagall looked at him confusedly, but that didn't last long as she looked at the destruction of the classroom.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Remus looked in the corner briefly where he knew that his friends were standing, "No, Professor."

"Was it your friends who did this?"

"No, Professor." Remus hoped he looked convincing enough.

Professor McGonagall gave him a withering look, "I know a liar when I see one, Mr. Lupin. Up you get, we are going to go to the Headmaster's office."

* * *

When the door shut, the cloak was pulled off, and James and Sirius were looking at each other with horrified expressions.

"Shit, he's going to get chewed out big time." James nodded in agreement.

"At least we got him that chocolate bar for being a good sport."

When Remus Lupin entered the common room a few hours later, his three friends looked up at him expectantly.

"Detentions every Tuesday evening with McGonagall for the rest of term. Dumbledore knew I was lying, he said I should let you all get in trouble. I said I already got them detentions before," Remus smiled, "It'll be okay. McGonagall likes me. She'll probably have me grade papers or something."

Sirius tossed the chocolate bar at him, "Thanks for that Moony."

Remus looked at them, "Well, next time you feel like destroying something, try the Shrieking Shack. No one would notice some more damage in there."


	12. Insanity

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**12. Insanity**

"This is a bad idea," Remus muttered as he sat down in the only chair in the Shrieking Shack while his friends looked around the 'Most Haunted Building in Great Britain'.

"Moony, this is the first moon that you won't have to be by yourself with." James tugged off his jacket, setting it in the chest of drawers that rested in the corner of the room.

"Why is there a bed in here?" Sirius jumped on the ancient four poster and coughed as a cloud of dust rose up from the sheets. There was a thud as he rolled off of it.

"Well, in case I am strong enough to get in a bed to sleep after a full moon. Typically I don't have the energy to walk two paces let alone climb up into a bed. I normally faint and wake up on the floor in my own blood." He paused for a moment, "You realize that it isn't Remus Lupin in a wolf's body right? I won't know you; I won't be able to stop myself from hurting you. I could kill one of you."

James clapped him on the back, "Well, it's a good thing Petey will be keeping watch. If you seriously injure one of us, he'll scurry up to the castle and tell Dumbledore. Though he knows that it has to be serious, because if we got caught for doing this, we'd be in major trouble. Not that I care, of course," James said swiftly.

Remus shook his head and sighed, they were too stubborn to change their minds. He glanced out of the window that was covered with a grille and spoke, "The sun is setting. It's going to happen soon."

Within a few minutes, he felt ill. The pain began in his feet, he jumped to his feet as his toes began to elongate and grow claws. Sirius and James stared at him in horror as his ratty clothes began to tear, his spine curve and bones crack.

When the transition was over, the sickly looking wolf-form before them whined pitifully. James stepped forward and put his hand on its back, "Remus?"

Sirius yelped as the wolf threw James into the wall with a growl, its eyes narrowed. Sirius changed into the black dog seamlessly and charged at Remus.

* * *

He was in a bed, a soft pillow rested under his sore head. He sneezed as dust tickled his nose, opening his tired brown eyes. Sirius and James were sitting beside his bed, both were fast asleep. Remus took in the cuts and bruises that covered their bodies. His hand raised to touch his own cheek, wincing as he ran his fingers over the cuts that ran down his cheek to his neck. He then realized that his friends must have lifted him up into the bed to sleep and a warm feeling spread through his chest.

Sirius was the first of the two to wake, he rubbed his eyes, disregarding the bruises on his body and instead checking that Remus was okay.

"You were right, you went completely insane last night."

Remus cast his eyes down in shame, "I'm truly sorry that I hurt you both… If I had any control over it, I wouldn't hurt anyone… You guys shouldn't come next-."

"Are you kidding me?" James interrupted him, looking elated, "That was the most fun I've had in ages. You put up quite a fight, Moony. Sorry about the bruises on your chest though, those antlers pack a mean punch."

Remus shook his head and got out of bed, turning his back on his friends to pull on the clothes that he had put into the chest. He was smiling, though. He was so grateful to have them with him, they cared for his wounds, fixed him up as much as they could, and had put him into the bed.

When he was dressed, he ate the chocolate he had tucked into the trunk and turned back to his friends.

"Where's Peter?"

"Oh," Sirius said dismissively, "He's still watching the entrance, trying to decide when we should leave. He's supposed to send us a sign."

Sirius rolled his eyes as a blue spark lit up the stairway, "Well, there we have it boys. We'd better hurry, breakfast is about to start and you need to go to Madame Pomfrey. We'll meet you at breakfast."

Sirius, James, and Peter hid themselves under the invisibility cloak, an impressive feat for 3 fifteen year old boys. Remus left the Shack first, taking the familiar route he had traveled since he was eleven. This time, however, he wasn't filled with complete pain and sadness. His friends had alleviated his pain and had taken care of him. He was so glad they were there with him, and couldn't imagine a life without James, Sirius, and Peter.


	13. Misfortune

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**13. Misfortune**

If Remus Lupin was to describe his life in one word, he would choose 'unfortunate'. Every event in his life rested on the fact that he was a werewolf, which was an event of major misfortune. However, the worst thing in his life to him was his lack of money.

Ever since he was a teenager, he could never really afford to look after himself. His mother passed away when he was thirteen, leaving his father to care for the both of them. However, with Remus' transformations every month, buying clothes for him was a hassle.

Upon graduating from Hogwarts, Remus was supported by James. However, that income ended when they decided that Remus could be a traitor. He was left to take care of himself.

The most difficult task for Lupin was finding a job where his employers wouldn't notice his monthly absences. This meant he had to do tasks that were below him. Becoming a janitor for the village's primary school was mind-numbingly boring.

On a particularly dull evening, Remus was sweeping the floor of a classroom, and got distracted by the stories that were hanging on the wall. The one that had caught his eye had an illustrated cover of a poorly drawn wolf howling at the moon. The story ended with the wolf being killed by the town hunter, after it had attacked someone.

Remus Lupin left the job that evening, angry at what he had to put up with in his life. Hate bubbled up in his chest, but it was directed towards himself. He thought of himself as a monster, and in his mind, so did everyone else.


	14. Smile

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**14. Smile**

A smile from Remus Lupin was a rare surprise, especially as he grew older. When it appeared, it was beautiful. As a boy at Hogwarts, he had smiled so often that he had crows' feet at the corners of his warm brown eyes. These wrinkles were the only evidence that he had had a happy life as a boy.

The person who coaxed the most smiles out of Remus was Nymphadora Tonks. She could have him writhing with laughter while they were on stakeouts outside of a Death Eater's house. She would have to put her hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter.

* * *

"Remus, Remus, you need to be quiet. Do you-," she couldn't help it, she started to giggle. Remus looked adorable, tears streaming from laughter, curled up in the grass which was clutched in his hands.

"Remus," her firm voice quivered with laughter, "Remus be quiet!" She leaned forward and kissed him. He startled beneath her, but his arms quickly came around to hold her close to him and kiss her back.

When she pulled away, Remus was smiling broadly and looking up at her.

"If I had known that kissing you would have shut you up, I would have done it ages ago," Tonks muttered as she looked away from him. Her cheeks burned red. Lupin sat up and looked at her curiously. They both dived down in the grass as a light came on in the house.

"You were too loud, Remus."

"I guess we'd better disapparate quick then."

Tonks grabbed his hand, rolling her eyes. Remus was still smiling as there was a loud crack and the field was suddenly empty.


	15. Silence

**A/N: Reviews are always appreciated. **

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**15. Silence**

The lights were off in the small cottage, giving it the appearance of being abandoned. Remus Lupin lingered at the small gate before the yard, looking up at the cottage hesitantly. _I really ought to trim those _he thought as he gazed up at the vines that covered the brickwork.

It had been about six hours since he had left Tonks, after saying it was for the best. "I'm not making this decision for me," he had pleaded, "I'm making it for you and our child." She had begged him to stay, tears running down her face. The memory made him wince, he hated himself for having caused her such pain.

It had taken the words of his best friends' son, and some private reflection with a strong drink to drive him back to his wife an unborn child. In that private reflection he realized that he should be grateful that he was so blessed. If the child did end up having his condition, at least they would have him to go to with questions. When he had been bitten, he had no one to talk about it to. His mother had demanded that it not be brought up in her presence, and his father was at work during the day. He had only asked his father one question about it, when he had gotten to Hogwarts age. _Do you think I will hurt anyone at school? _His father had gone white in the face, and had shaken his head. _I hope not. _After that attempt, Remus never bothered to bring up his condition with his parents. He would not have that kind of relationship with his child.

Taking a deep breath, Remus opened the gate as quietly as he could and staggered up the cobbled steps. He paused at the large wooden door, his hand frozen in the air, about to knock. _You could have just apparated in, _he thought, _it is your house. _However, he didn't think that would be prudent, considering the manner in which he had left. Tonks would probably have cursed him or stunned him, which she had every right to do. So he knocked.

After a few moments of silence, he went to knock again, but the door opened before he touched it. Tonks was glaring up at him with red rimmed eyes, her wand drawn.

"Did you forget something?" Her voice was cold.

He closed his eyes briefly, taking a moment to prepare, "Dora-."

"I should blast you from the doorstep."

"And you have every right to. But, please just let me speak before you do so."

She stared at him for a moment before nodding, her mouth a firm line.

"I made a mistake. When you told me you were pregnant, my first thought was about you. I've already ruined your reputation by being your husband, and now I might have caused you to have a werewolf as a child. I figured, if I stayed with you, it would be worse for you. People know of my condition, but wouldn't know of the child's. You would have lived a happier life. The child wouldn't…" He trailed off before gathering his thoughts, "The child wouldn't have a father to be ashamed of."

"Remus," her gaze had softened.

"So, I went to find Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I decided that if I couldn't be happy, I could at least protect the child of my closet friends. James had cared for me most of my life, had protected me. I thought that I should return the favor. However, Harry wanted nothing to do with me. He said that leaving my wife and child was cowardly. And he was right."

"Remus, you're not a coward-."

"Dora, my friends died to protect their child. They did not live to see him grow up. They did not get a chance to live their lives together. I was so unbelievably selfish to give up a chance at happiness. If I die in the coming days, at least I will have been happy and got to share time with my family. I promise I will do everything in my power to protect you and our child. If you will have me, that is," he finished lamely.

Tonks appraised him in silence, before stepping back and allowing him to come inside. He quickly lifted up his trunk and brought it into their room. She didn't offer him anything to eat or drink, she simply got straight into bed. Remus quietly unpacked his things before lying down in the bed. Her back was to him, and the room was enveloped in silence.

_What did you expect? _As he settled under the covers, he pondered that. Perhaps he had been expecting a tearful kiss and a welcome home cake. That was, of course, ridiculous. He deserved the silent treatment, and much more after that. He could live with a few days of silence with his wife, he was just glad to be with her.


	16. Questioning

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**16. Questioning**

"Remus, why are you sick so often?" Remus Lupin was caught off guard by Lily Evans' sudden questioning.

"Er," he stammered, "I have a… Poor immune system."

Lily snorted incredulously, looking up at him from her Transfiguration homework. "Rem, I can tell when you're lying. The tips of your ears get really red. Do you care to tell me why you have a poor immune system every full moon, and then come back from the Hospital Wing covered in cuts, scrapes, and bruises?"

Remus closed his eyes, she knew. There was no point in lying to her, it would only make her mad at him. If she knew, and she still wanted to be his friend, then what would be the harm in telling her? _Perhaps she only thinks that I am a werewolf. Perhaps telling her will make her realize what I am, and she won't want to be friends with me._

"C'mon Rem, I'm waiting to hear a really good excuse." Her green eyes were bright, playful.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone, though I already know that you won't."

She nodded, while he took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. It was always hard to tell people, he was always afraid of the backlash that could come.

"I'm…" his voice dropped to a whisper, "I'm a werewolf, Lily."

She nodded knowingly, "I have thought so since first year. Thanks for telling me yourself, Rem."

"You don't," he spoke falteringly, "You don't think any different of me? I'm a monster."

She reached out and took his hands in hers, "You are not a monster, Remus Lupin. You are the sweetest boy I have ever met. You care about people, and you go out of your way to make sure that your wolf form never hurts anyone. A monster would simply kill or hurt for fun. You are just a boy with an unfortunate illness," she spoke in such a matter of fact way that she almost convinced him.

"Thank you," he murmured, "Thank you for not hating me. I don't like telling people because I think that they will hate me and never talk to me again. I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I just wanted to stay your friend."

"Remus, you will always be my friend. Now, do you think you could read over my essay?"

That was that, like it had never happened. He smiled and leaned forward to read her essay, wishing in the back of his mind that everyone reacted the way that Lily Evans did.


	17. Blood

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**17. Blood**

Nymphadora Tonks staggered into the door of her own home, a man's arm over her shoulder. She walked as far as the living room, sitting him down in his favorite leather chair, not caring that his blood would make a mess that she would have to clean later. Remus groaned as she leaned him back in the chair, she heard a loud crack that made her jump.

"I think I broke my leg," his words were slurred. In the light, he looked much worse than when she had found him in the clearing behind their house, shaded by the trees. A large cut ran down his side and a nasty looking gash leaked blood from his forehead. His brown eyes were half closed, struggling to stay awake.

"Remus, darling, go to sleep," her voice shook, "I'll clean you up while you sleep."

"Love you, Dora." She smiled faintly as his eyes closed. She then took a deep breath, drawing her wand and summoning some Essence of Dittany and Skele-Gro. She never quite grew used to Remus coming home bloody. Her hands always shook as she cleaned his wounds.

* * *

When she was done, she stared down at her bloody hands, feeling ill. She levitated Remus into bed before cleaning off the couch. Setting her wand down, she closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks. _It's not fair, _she thought, _that this has to happen to him. _She couldn't wipe her eyes because she didn't want blood in them. She quickly rinsed them off in the kitchen before wiping her face with a tissue. She could hear Remus groaning in pain in the other room, she turned on the kettle. _How many more nights like this are we going to have to endure? What if he ends up dead? _She dropped the mug in her hands, overwhelmed by the thought. Tonks cursed and went to pick up the shards of ceramic, one cut open her hand. The only sound in the room was blood dripping on the tile floor and Tonks' sobs.


	18. Rainbow

**A/N: I don't know what it was, but this particular prompt was quite difficult to write.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**18. Rainbow**

Twigs crunched beneath worn, heavy brown hiking boots. The forest was silent save for the twigs, chirping birds, and Remus Lupin's light panting. He had been walking for days, pausing only for quick naps or a bite of stale bread to eat. The bread had gone a bit moldy, but that didn't bother him, as long as he had something to stop the loud growling in his stomach. Brown eyes studied the rapidly darkening sky. At least he would be able to collect some water to drink if it rained.

It only took a few minutes for the torrential downpour to begin. Lupin had been on the move for about half a year, which was when James and Lily Potter had been killed. He didn't really know why he hadn't settled down, there was no Voldemort to run from now. The hatred and prejudice never ended though, once people found out what he was.

The wild welcomed home its lonely son, providing him with shelter and solace. The rain was cool, refreshing. People on the other hand, were harsh and hotheaded. He knew that he couldn't run forever, people like Albus Dumbledore or the Weasley family would be looking for him. He cursed the fact that he had joined the Order of the Phoenix, because now people cared for him when he didn't want them to.

_I don't deserve it_, he thought bitterly as thunder rumbled. _I don't deserve to have friends, family. Everyone I love ends up dying, and people don't understand why I stay away from them, why I don't get too close. I do it to protect them. _

With his eyes focused on the sky, he didn't notice the large root coming off of a tree; he tripped and landed in cold mud. Shouting curses to no one, he slowly sat up. As he did so, the rain stopped and the sky cleared. He looked to the sky and saw a rainbow,

A younger, happier Remus Lupin would have seen a rainbow as a symbol of hope. This Remus Lupin saw it as an annoyance, at least the rain would have washed the mud off of him.


	19. Grey

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**19. Grey**

If Sirius Black was to describe Remus Lupin the morning after a full moon with one word, it would be **grey.** As Sirius kept watch over Lupin while he slept in the one dusty bed in the Shrieking Shack, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were splashing Essence of Dittany over their numerous cuts and scratches. Sirius was worried more about Remus than he was of himself.

Lupin always looked like all the life had been sucked out of him. His skin had a grey pallor, and his eyes were heavy with shadows. Bruises covered his pale skin. Sirius winced as he looked at a huge bruise on his friend's chest, he wondered when Remus had acquired that one.

Remus bolted upright in bed with a yelp, James and Sirius were at his side immediately, while Peter had dropped the bottle of Dittany and was quickly attempting to clean it up.

"Remus," James' voice was smooth and calming, "It's alright mate, and we're here with you. It's going to be okay. The moon is over."

Lupin slowly relaxed at his friend's touch and voice, they would never leave him.

* * *

Harry Potter stared down at the bodies of Remus and Tonks. His green eyes focused on Remus' grey body, and tears filled his eyes. The last real link to his parents had died, for him. Died to protect him. And now, at 17 years old, Harry had a godson who was an orphan.

Wiping his eyes slowly, he took a deep breath. He was going to die as well, and Teddy would have no one. Walking into an empty classroom, Harry looked around for a scrap of parchment and a quill.

_I, Harry James Potter, leave all of my earthly possessions to Edward Remus Lupin and trust that he will be cared for. _

As Harry tucked this scrap of parchment into his pocket beside the snitch, Remus Lupin was reunited with his friends who had never really left him after all.


	20. Fortitude

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**20. Fortitude**

All throughout Defense Against Dark Arts that day, Remus Lupin had been unable to conjure a Patronus. He had watched as James' stag had cantered around the class, eliciting whoops from Sirius and Peter. Remus had been unable to come up with a memory happy enough to produce the silver animal that would defend him against a Dementor. When class had ended, he wandered down the hall to find an empty classroom.

_Perhaps I was just nervous in front of my friends. I've always been able to do spells no matter the difficulty, so why should this be any different? _His thoughts boosted his confidence, and he drew his wand. He was in need of a happy memory. He thought of his parents, smiling and proud of him.

_"Expecto Patronum!" _His wand issued a very faint silvery mist; it faded after only a few seconds. Remus tried every memory he could think of, all his time with the Marauders and being accepted. None of them worked.

_I wonder if it has to be a memory… _In his mind, he pictured his life as it was now, except his skin was scar-less, and full moons were just another night. His friends all loved him and he never had to worry about anyone hating him or giving him dirty looks.

_"Expecto Patronum." _The spell escaped his lips in a whisper, and a huge blast of silver light issued from the tip of his wand. Lupin's brown eyes widened in horror as he gazed at the shape that his Patronus had taken. He had always endured his affliction with great fortitude, but this broke him. As the silver wolf trotted around the classroom, the tall, scarred boy fell to his knees with a sob. His wand was thrown to the wall, the Patronus disappearing.

Tears ran down Remus' cheeks unashamedly, even the form of his happiest memory or thought made him miserable. He would never be able to escape from the fact that he was a werewolf. It was a part of him.

* * *

Remus didn't attend any of his classes for the rest of the day. He remained on the ground, letting the chill of the stone cool his heated cheeks. The door creaked open but he didn't bother to look who it was.

"Ah, there you are Mr. Lupin." Remus closed his eyes and groaned internally, he was doomed. Professor McGonagall was standing above him, looking down at the boy with red rimmed eyes who lay on the ground before her feet.

"Would you care to explain why you didn't attend any of your classes after Defense Against the Dark Arts today?" McGonagall's eyes scanned the room and saw a wand lying dejectedly in front of the far wall.

When Remus made no motion to speak or get up, she bent over and pulled the fifteen year old boy to his feet effortlessly. She led him to her office, pausing to pick up his wand. She sat behind her desk when they reached the office and Remus sat down in front of her, expecting detention.

"You were learning the Patronus charm today. Does that have something to do with your absence?"

"I…" He trailed off, looking at his wand in her hand. "All throughout class, I couldn't conjure a corporeal Patronus. I thought that I could perhaps practice in here before heading to Charms. It took a while to come up with a happy memory, and it wasn't even a memory that worked. I thought of my life just as it is now… Except I wasn't a werewolf. It worked. I was so happy, that I could do it. Until I looked at the form it took," his voice broke, "It was a wolf."

McGonagall was silent for a few moments, while Remus stared into her fireplace she looked at him with pity in her eyes. She set his wand down and opened a tin of biscuits.

"Have a biscuit, Remus." When the boy had taken one, she spoke, "There is a major difference in a werewolf and a wolf. The fact that your Patronus is a wolf doesn't relate to your condition at all. It shows that you are loyal and wise, not a monster. Now, I will let you off on missing your classes today, but I'm afraid I can't let it happen again."

Lupin nodded and took his wand that she was offering.

"Life isn't as bad as you think, Remus. When you wake up tomorrow it will be a brand new day and you can choose to do whatever you want with it. If that isn't real magic, I don't know what is." She paused, looking at the boy who had been through so much. "Now, off to bed with you."

"Thank you, Professor." Remus was grateful that she hadn't punished him for missing class, but he disagreed with her about his Patronus. His body made its way to the Gryffindor Boy's Dormitory but his mind was elsewhere. _You are what you hate most. All these years you thought that you hated your lycanthropy when in actuality what you hate most is yourself. _


	21. Vacation

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

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**21. Vacation**

At the conclusion of Remus Lupin's third year at Hogwarts, he was invited to do something he had never done before. James Potter had invited his three friends to stay at his house for the last month of their summer break. Remus had left Platform 9 and ¾ with promises that he would write back to James as soon as he got his parents' permission.

Choosing the right moment to ask his father was harder than it would have been in the past. After Remus' mother had passed away at Christmastime, his father had become gruff and hard to approach. He had learned not to mention his mother at all; Lyall would only close up and not talk to Remus for the rest of the day. The day before Remus was supposed to leave for James' house, he found a perfect opportunity.

His father sat at the table with the _Daily Prophet _in his hands. Remus sat in the chair next to him, setting his bowl of cereal down on the table. He cleared his throat hesitantly. His father set the paper down and appraised him silently.

"Dad, my friend James Potter invited me to stay at his house for the rest of the summer tomorrow and I was wondering if you'd allow me to go? I'd be staying with my other friends Sirius and Peter as well. His parents would take us to Diagon Alley to get our things and then take us to Kings Cross. I'd really-."

Lyall put his hand up to halt his son's rambling speech. Remus rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, but was fervently hoping his father would say yes.

"We've had a very tough year, you and I. With your mother gone it seems like we've both changed. You can go to the Potters, on one condition."

Remus held his breath, his father's conditions were usually chores or some sort of task that would make him miserable.

"You promise that you will have as much fun as you possibly can with these boys. You've never been able to have friends before because of your condition. I'm sure these boys know about your condition?"

Remus nodded his head, perhaps a little more enthusiastically than necessary.

"Well then, go and have fun. Just…" His father trailed off for a moment and his voice was quiet when he spoke, "Don't forget about your old dad, alright?"

With a wide grin on his face, Remus gave his father a quick hug before sprinting up to his room. Hurriedly, he wrote a letter to James in scribbled handwriting; _I CAN COME!_ He then turned and started to pack his trunk, the smile never leaving his face.

* * *

In the years to come, Remus Lupin would think of his summer with the Potters as the best month of his life. The boys had become much closer and had come up with the ideas for the Marauder's Map. At that time, it was just in the planning stages as none of them had known the magic to complete it. But the idea excited them, and the more they spoke about it; the more intricate it became.

They had played 2 a side Quidditch and Remus had finally mastered the sport. James had pulled him aside and suggested that he try out for Gryffindor as Keeper, which was the position he played as all summer. However, Remus wouldn't have the confidence to try out and definitely wouldn't be able to perform in front of the whole school. But he was proud that he could actually ride a broomstick and play the sport with some degree of decency.

The summer had ended with the four boys deciding to make the fourth year of school the best one so far. James made a resolution that he would finally go out on a date with Lily Evans, Sirius said he would tell the person he fancied that he fancied them, and Peter decided that he would get a passing grade in Potions. Remus however, didn't have a resolution. He would love to tell Lily how he felt about her, but that was out of the question. The year would pass as the previous three did; filled with laughter and tears, joy and sadness. But the major difference that would haunt Remus was that his mother wasn't around to send him letters anymore, and he hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to her.


	22. Mother Nature

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

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**22. Mother Nature**

"Where are we going?" Tonks' voice echoed through the quiet wood while Remus Lupin kept a firm grip on her hand, the other holding a picnic basket. He found a clearing and spread the blanket that he had been holding under his arm.

"I figured that I should treat you. We've had a rough couple of days because of the full moon, and I just wanted to do something for you."

Tonks smiled widely while Remus began to unpack their lunch. He looked peaceful when he was outdoors; the wrinkles and scars on his face seemed to fade and his eyes seemed to grow brighter. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Remus spoke.

"I wish I could live outside, sometimes. I find it very relaxing and the scenery is always breathtaking. I mean, I've been in this woods more times than I can count but I always find something new to admire. Today that new thing is you." He grinned wolfishly as she giggled.

"Thank you for sharing this with me Remus. I suppose you don't come outdoors with people often."

Lupin's gaze took on a faraway quality, "No. Not since I had my friends." He fiddled with a piece of grass in his hands. He closed his eyes as Tonks hugged him, they didn't need to speak. She knew how he felt. She also always managed to make him feel better about anything. Hours passed in silence and quiet reflection. The sun began to set before Lupin pulled Tonks' to her feet.

"We've still got time. Let's take this walk home nice and slow."

"Why?" Tonks' arm looped through the crook of Remus' elbow.

"So that I can make sure that I remember this day forever."


	23. Cat

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

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**23. Cat**

"Merlin, what is that!?" Remus Lupin barked as a ginger streak whizzed between his legs and into the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius Black peered into the kitchen before chuckling.

"That's just Crookshanks, Remus. Honestly, you acted as though it was a curse or something."

Remus hated cats. There was something in their eyes that he just didn't trust. Nor did he trust the tiny, cute, misleading paws that without warning could unleash claws as sharp as knives. He decided, perhaps he wouldn't stay for dinner.

Molly insisted. There was no escaping dinner if Molly Weasley asked him to stay. "Tonks will be joining us," she had said offhandedly and Remus had rolled his eyes but his stomach had flipped. Another dinner where he and Tonks would make eye contact before one of them broke it, blushing immensely.

However, during this particular evening, Remus' eyes were locked on the ginger furred menace that was sprawled out on the china cabinet that stood against the wall. His grip was firm on the silverware in his hands.

"Is something wrong, Pr- Remus?" Hermione looked at him curiously while Sirius sniggered.

"No, not at all Hermione. I just remembered something," Lupin's eyes met Tonks' and they exchanged a meaningful look.

"Excuse me," they said in unison. He went to the kitchen while she took a roundabout way to the kitchen, so that those at the table did not think they were having some sort of secret meeting. He shuddered to think of what Molly would come up with.

"What's bothering you, Remus?" Tonks' voice sounded genuinely concerned which would have made him laugh, it was just a cat.

"I don't like cats." Tonks looked very confused at that statement.

"Hermione's cat. I'm… scared of cats."

"Are you telling me that Remus Lupin, a man who has seen much more horrifying things in his life, is afraid of cats?" She giggled slightly but then maintained a straight face.

"Yes," he huffed. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him slowly and everything else faded away.

"Whoops!" Sirius practically shouted as he barged into the kitchen, leaving the door wide open. Molly looked delighted. Remus and Tonks quickly broke apart; Remus' cheeks were bright red.

By the end of the evening, Remus had drunk enough firewhiskey to brave an attempt to befriend Crookshanks at Tonks' suggestion. The cat had left a nasty scratch on his hand, further cementing his intense dislike of cats. But the scratch gathered some sympathy from Tonks in the form of kisses and a night spent together in the only unoccupied bedroom in the house.


	24. No Time

**A/N: I would love to see some reviews on this story, I'd really appreciate it. Also, updates might become slower as I'm going to be starting school this week.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

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**24. No Time**

Teddy Lupin lay asleep in his crib, his hair the same shade of brown as his father's. For the moment. Nymphadora Tonks was leaning against the doorframe, watching her husband who was standing over the crib silently. His hand reached down and pushed his son's hair back, his eyes closed. He tensed as her hand touched his back, he stepped away from the crib and looked at his wife.

"You're going to go, aren't you?"

Remus had received word minutes earlier from Aberforth Dumbledore that a battle against Voldemort was going to start at any moment at Hogwarts. Harry was there. Lupin glanced back at his sleeping son before addressing his wife.

"I owe James and Lily as much. And I owe Harry. I owe Harry everything. This man, this thing, has taken away most of the happy things in my life. I am not going to stand idly by and let him kill Harry, destroy the place I called home for seven years, or hurt you or Ted. I must go."

He pulled Tonks into his arms, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. She was crying silently.

"It's not like I'm definitely going to die. For all we know, I could be home in an hour. But… If I do die, Teddy will have you and Harry."

"What if Harry di-."

"Harry won't die," Remus said firmly, "Albus said that he is the best hope we have to destroy Voldemort. And he'll do it. Merlin, if James and Lily could see him now. They'd be so proud."

He kissed Tonks softly and wiped away her tears, "If I do die, know that I love you with all of my heart and no one has ever made me as happy as you have."

He walked back over to Teddy's crib, holding Tonks' hand. His eyes teared up as he looked down at his son.

"If I do die…" His voice broke, "I want you to tell him every day how happy he made his dad. Can you do that for me, Dora?"

She was crying again, he hated this. He leaned down and kissed Teddy on the forehead, his tears slipping down his nose.

"Daddy loves you so much Teddy. He loves you so much."

With that, Remus exited the room knowing that if he didn't then, he would never leave. Picking up his wand, he looked down at the object that had kept him alive for so many years. He pressed his lips to it and fervently hoped that he would be lucky tonight.

He took one last look at his bedroom before exchanging one last embrace with Tonks. He kissed her softly, hoping he had conveyed all the tossed up emotions inside of him. He didn't want to die alone if he did die, but he didn't want her to come with him. However, he didn't know what he wanted more.

"I love you." He said. And then he was gone.


End file.
